Okay, so I've decided to start writing a story based on the world I made, Cala Blanca.
Part 1:
Eduardo: "So Emilia... how was your ferry experience?"
Emilia: "Wait, what? I'm so sorry, I didn't hear what you were saying. I was just thinking about nachos."
It's 6:00 am in the morning, by the way.
Eduardo: "Ugh, tell me about it. There was not even a snack bar on that friggin' thing and I'm starving. But first, about our rental apartment..."
Emilia: "Yes, what about it?"
Eduardo: "Well, um... where is it exactly?"
Emilia: "Oh! Hah, silly me. The online listing said it was located within walking distance of the main town square. It also said it was recently renovated. The pictures looked great!"
Eduardo: "Oh, that's a relief. I've been having those reoccuring anxieties about ending up in a craphole throughout this whole ordeal."
Emilia: "That's because you need to loosen up. No offense brother, but you're neurotic like one of those mangy little pugs that pees on everything."
In the taxi...
Eduardo: "Wait... speaking of mangy animals, what if the apartment is infested with a bunch of stray dogs that tore up everything? What if there's a colony of mice hoarding cheese behind the gas stove? What if there's no internet connection?"
Emilia: "No internet? HAH! Relax. I heard for myself that Cala Blanca is the Wifi capital of Southern Europe."
Eduardo: "Really?"
Emilia: "Well, no, but that would be pretty cool."
Minutes later...
Emilia: "Okay, did you give the wrong address to the taxi driver?"
Eduardo: "No, I specifically told him 65 Calamari Street... but then again I don't have that thick Spaniard lisp that mom and dad had so maybe he thought I was talking about something completely different."
Emilia: "Hmm. Are you sure you didn't say "take us to the ugliest pink house on this island?"
Eduardo: "Of course not! Ugh, I swear the taxi drivers in this place are imbeciles!!"
Emilia: "Okay, calm down, I have this little GPS app on my phone and......
it says we're at 65 Calamari Street."
Eduardo: "Well... SEE? I predicted this the whole time."
Nearby, a local mail lady walks by snarkily making comments about the two.
"Hah, these must be Americans," she says to herself. "Looks how pathetically lost and frantic they are."
(In English w/ thick accent) "Hello Americanos! I think you are lost. Hogan's Deep-Fried Diner is actually on the other side of the island. I dare you to jog over there without getting a heart attack!" *snicker*
(in Spanish) Emilia: "Excuse me, but who the hell are you?"
"Oh, you speak Spanish, huh? You don't need to know names. All you need to know is that I'm tired of all you foreign rich people looking down on us locals like we're servants."
Emilia: "First of all, Hogan's Deep Fried Diner is totally gross. Second, We are Americans but we're poor as heck. Third, your highlights are kinda cute but I still think you're a jerk."
Eduardo: "Can you two stop? You know verbal conflicts make me nervous!"
Emilia: "Just as soon as I go postal on this postal worker."
Mail lady:"Whatever, okay lady? Let's just forget about it."
(Insert awkwardly silent moment here as the mail lady walks away grumpily)
Eduardo: "Well at least there's a free washing machine to use. Maybe we can tap into our inheritance money and buy a broken-down dryer to go with it. Hah!"
Emilia: "Relax, we won't have to use that thing. We're going to find a different condo tomorrow."
Eduardo: "I thought we had to save our money? We don't have a lot."
Emilia: "Crap, you're right. Wait a minute, does this mean we actually ARE poor?"
Emilia: "My God... I might need to get a job now. Do you realize this means I'm going to actually have to work??!"
Eduardo: "I don't have a problem with having to work, unlike you who would rather spend all day watching some dumb reality show about roommates fighting to see who most resembles a neanderthal. I figure we have at least a week to find jobs. I'm just worried that I won't be good enough for a job."
Emilia: "Forget that, I just want something easy like working at a spa or something. I don't understand why they can't, like, have a job like 'Professional Life-Enjoyer' or something."
Eduardo: "You know what? I'm starving. Let's go get something to eat, and we can deal with this apartment mess later."
Emilia: "Oooh, okay. There's this really cool tapas bar in the middle of town called "El Tiburon", it had really good online reviews."
Eduardo: "Sure. I've always wanted to try tapas, like those deep-fried round things made from Octopus."
Emilia: "Eww, that sounds so gross , but I don't care. I'm in a bad mood, so anything covered in grease and breading is good for me."
Inside the tapas bar...
Eduardo: "We would like a group serving of, uhh... those deep-fried round thingies."
Bartender: "Deep-fried..... round thingies? You mean Calamari?"
Eduardo: "Oh, yeah, that's what I meant. I knew that word sounded familiar when we were looking for that apartment!"
The bartender looks like he hates his job with a passion. Imagine him speaking in a very bored, monotone voice.
Bartender: "Here's your.... errm, deep-fried round thingies. Enjoy."
Eduardo: "Thanks!"
"I'm going to sit outside to savor the sun."
Emilia: "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good for you."
Emilia: "Hmmm... I really shouldn't eat deep-fried foods. So much fat and calories. That'll make me gain weight. Also, those things are made out of Octopus. But then again I've had more bizarre things in my mouth when I was a toddler and I turned out fine."
"I don't want to gain weight... but then again weight equals bigger *****... which equals a better chance at getting a guy. Hmm, maybe a little extra pounds might not be such a bad thing!"
"I wonder if the bartender likes big girls with big bazongas. He's kinda cute in a depressingly bored kind of way."
Bartender: "I hope you realize I can hear everything you were just saying."
Emilia: "Really? Oh, oops. I have a tendency to think out loud at the most awkward of times."
Bartender: "Are you done with these ma'am?"
Emilia: "No, but I'd like them in one of those boxes to take home, please. I'd rather eat greasy food in front of the TV crying about how I'm not engaged to a rich movie star."
Bartender: "Well that's-"
Emilia: "You know once I met this actor in Bridgeport named Mathew Hamming... do you know him?"
Bartender: "I think I've seen a couple of his mov-
Emilia: "Good. Okay, so like I was at the coffee shop having a sip of my Skinny Nonfat Triple Mochachino with organic Caramel Whip, and he totally walks in and accidentally bumps into me, making me spill it all over my new designer purse."
"He's all like 'OMG I'm so sorry ma'am!' and I look deep into his gorgeous eyes and say... 'that's okay. It's a fake anyways.' The purse wasn't a fake by the way. I payed a crapload on eBay for that thing. But I didn't care because he was so handsome."
Bartender: "Well that's very interesting, lady, but I have other things to get to."
Emilia: "Okay, sheesh. Just trying to be friendly."
Eduardo: "You actually told the Bartender that?"
Emilia: "Yeah! and he's all standing there with my plate of calamari things acting like I'm not drop-dead gorgeous. I mean, c'mon, I have to say I'm quite a smokin' hottie."
Eduardo: "Don't kid yourself. That hairspray you use is getting to your head."
Emilia: "Don't be jealous just because you can't work a hairstyle like mine."
Eduardo: "Yeah.... right... so what about our apartment?"
Emilia: "Eww, I don't want to talk about that pig hole."
Eduardo: "Well, we're going to have to just face the fact that we're stuck in a shabby little apartment until we can afford to move into a nicer place. Also, don't you think we should go check and see if our suitcases we shipped have arrived yet? They said those things would be here at least an hour ago."
Emilia: "Oooh, yes! I hope they did. Good thing we sold all that furniture at home, because I was able to pack a couple extra cute outfits to wear. You know how mediterranean guys are, they like a girl who acts in desperation."
Eduardo: "You could just get a good job and impress a guy by being intelligent and nice."
Emilia: "Eduardo, I'm not trying to be an all-around good citizen. I just need a fling... for now anyways. I'm way too young to get married and stuff like that."
Eduardo: "Well, then I guess at least one of us wants to have a mushy romantic relationship with someone special."
Emilia: "Okay, maybe we should go back to the apartment before I start getting nauseous."
Later, at the apartment...
Eduardo: "Okay, let's look inside now.
Emilia: "I really hope there's enough room for an exercising machine when I feel guilt after pigging out on those calamari things later."
Emilia: "Well, uhh.. it could be worse."
Eduardo: "Funny you'd say that considering this is pretty much worst house on the island as far as I could see."
Emilia: "Oh come on, it's not the worst. On the taxi ride from the port, I literally saw an old abandoned house with no front door."
Emilia: "Oh boy, this is going to be harder than I thought."
Eduardo: "Yep, but it will be worth it in the end. Right?"
